nights like these

ive gotten away from my long practiced practice of staying up til who knows when in the a.m., in general. i had a good run with that, what since 10th grade or something? i do like it every now and again, but its no longer regular. there is somethign about the night that really motivates me more than any cup of coffee or tea could ever do. maybe its something along these lines-you know how when it snows, there is actually a sound that comes out of that? the sound of snow hitting branches, clumping then falling to the ground? its soft but its there. maybe i like the sound that the night makes in a similar way. the thing is i only ever really hear those outside noises inbetween tracks coming through my headphones. the music this late at night has become an intrinsic part of the night, for me, as its almost exclusively dubstep and jazz at this time. visually, i kind of place myself in some sort of flux between alton's film noir and cuaron's social dystopia settings. i dont mean to place myself in someplace horrific or chilling, but when im up like this i feel like i am the private eye on the typewriter or digging through files, narrating his own actions as he goes. i am the guy digging where he isnt supposed to dig. the innocent bystander who saw what he wasnt supposed to see but becomes compelled to act. i am batman. no im not, i never really liked batman all that much to be fair. id much rather be a theo faron, if i had to choose.

theres subtle satisfaction in spending 4 hours with burial, spitting out 5 pages on something hopefully minimally trivial, reading a few good chapters or taking a couple hour wikipedia cruise. this is one of my favorite things to do in life i think. i remember when i saw dave eggers he said when he was a young writer just getting started that he would write nonstop from midnight til 5am, but as he aged he got away from this because of the toll it was taking on him. i have to think that he just wasnt taking care of himself.


so i guess tonight, ill start (<-hahaha) by asking: whats the deal with Kyrgyzstan? other than the spelling. well to be honest i dont really know. i was out of town when it all kicked off and ive been too focused on the wc. looks like a krygz and uzbek gang got in a fight and tensions spread and boiled over. now were looking down the barrel of a genocide. time to start paying attention.


but adieu, ive decided, off an impulse, to watch lauren bacall and humphrey bogart smoke cigarettes in the big sleep. that first scene is such great stuff. alors, see you in a few hours.