so since i talked about bowie earlier. i thought it worth mentioning that im letting la roux take over my mind right now. while i read the v for vendetta book. the two dont really go together. its making me take a much too lighthearted approach to the book. in a way, its making it comic.
for instance, the elegy/bridge thing at like 3:15 in 'in for the kill' just corresponded with V saying 'Good evening London, I thought it time we had a little talk'. What kind of talk? im imaging something slapstick. liek when john cleese would say 'and now for something completely different' on monty python. oh well. no matter.
i can remember the first time i heard la roux in the club last year. it was at this really awesome place called http://www.clubsnafu.com/. well thats the url at least. it was a pretty good place. most nights it was pretty avant garde. which i liked. i didnt really go there often. by that i mean i only went like once a week. sometimes there were just too many people doing blow there.
exodus was my jam. exodus was the greatest place ever. 3 nights a week, my roomate and i would spend about 6 hours each night there. monday, friday and saturday. they have a lot of my money. especially since it was on top of a pub. a pub where i spent many hours.
then there were the wild card clubs, which i usually avoided like the plague and only went to when i was compulsed or obligated to make an appearance. liquid. liquid was the worst. it was a mega club. 3 stories. first floor was like top 40. middle was just trash and the top was like oldies. it was full of slags.
then there was pearl lounge. pearl lounge is probably the biggest anomaly in club history. there was like a 3 girls to 1 guy ratio there. the only thing is, they were all so dumb. i went only once. whereupon i saw a girl jumping on a track light that was recessed into the floor. shed step on the light, notice that no light would shine through, then step off. see the light. step on. not see the light. step off. see the light. my friend and i watched her do this easily a dozen times. then we got our coats and left.
parliament wasnt really a club. it was a bar. i liked that place. nice chairs. like those massive oversized things. ameoba like? if that helps. good place to start the night. take it out of the wild card list.
Bassment-also not a club really. nice place. kind of chill, underground on an old street. i liked it there.
the priory. oh the priory. i had many many bad experiences in this place, countless perhaps. in fact, i dunno if i remember most of them. it was in an old church, or rather kirk. because thats what theyre called there. so why is it called the priory and not the kirk? one of the many mysteries of this place. so yeah. big open place. stained glass and everything still there. dj booth in the middle. i know everyone has heard this story that im about to tell. so yeah, dj booth, big circle thing looks like a birdcage in the middle of where the pews would be. people while dancing would put their drinks on this little bannister type of thing they had while dancing. those drinks would all be drunk by my friends. in a very short amount of time, because the bouncers would come after you like you would not believe and chuck you out. so the name of the game was speed. it all made so much sense then... im sure i consumed an elephants dosage of roophies everytime i went there. thats not even the half of it though. they had this one drink, called the 'purple rain' at the priory. i dunno what the heck is in it, no one does. it cost like 9 quid (15 bucks) and at some points in the night it seems like a good idea to get one. basically they dump like 10 different things into a martini glass and light it on fire. then you have to chug it. after you chug it, they trap the vapors in another glass->AND YOU HAVE TO SNORT THE VAPORS. through a straw. now what happens next is basically disturbing. you feel fine for like 13 seconds, then you have an out of body experience. and then you see double. and then dancing is a lot more fun. its like you have 2 brains. in hindsight they probably put ecstacy in the purple rain. oh well. seriously though, im not even half done with this place. the bathrooms are downstairs, and the guys is extremely small. but inside this extremely small bathroom, fit for like 1 guy at a time (at a club with probably a 600 person capacity, this is hilarious). well anyway, inside of here is one of the large nigerian men that are like 10% of the aberdeen population. and he makes you pay to use the bathroom, and pay to use a towel and pay for soap. it costs basically 3 quid to go to the bathroom there. its for this reason why most people go outside and go to the bathroom on the outside wall of the club. i havent talked about the clientele of the priory. now i will. over there its a lot more common to get hit on by guys. no big deal. but at the priory, you get chased. by guys and like 40 year old women. constantly. you have so many responsiblities there. steal drinks, figure out a way to not get ripped off when going to the bathroom, prevent rear from being grabbed. make it out alive. the place was a joke.
hmm what else. oh yes tiger tiger. tiger tiger is down by the docks, and every weekend someone would get stabbed. to death. no lie. i never went there.
the moorings-i loved this place. down by the train station and the docks. speaking of this place, let me describe a day that ended at the moorings. one day that we had to go to edinburgh to meet with parliament. meetings ended at say 3. we didnt have a train out til around 630. for 3.5 horus we pub crawled, in what are some of the best pubs in teh world, i would say. ill maybe post a ranking sometime. but anyway. did that. then bought more for the train. we had a car to ourselves, and it was a party. incredible time. ok so about 2 hours in, 1.5 hours from aberdeen, the train calls at montrose. montrose has a lot of history. history i wont go into, because now all its known for is heroin. think of trainspotting. trainspotting took place in leith, which is edinburgh. after that movie came out the town got so pissed about the negative press that they cleaned up the town, and all the junkies went to montrose. thats literally all the town is now. junkies. well so, we see this one guy on the platform, and my friend dickie. yes that was his name. waves a pint can at him. then one of my other friends does the same. and by the end of it there are 15 people waving pint cans at this guy. he makes a beeline for our car. and gets on. it as at this point we notice that the guy is about 5'2'' and like 75 pounds, and his nose is pouring blood. and his eyes are glassed over. and he smells like garbage. and he looks like hed kill us all. so he sits down behind my friend, and leans over the chair, bleeding all over. but were so drunk that we are unphased. we have the most delightful talk with teh guy, that makes no literal sense and its not worth me recounting it. but we do learn his name, learn that he used to have a job, he supports labour, and aberdeen fc (though he cant name the main players from the last 3 years). its as if hes frozen in time when tony blair was still running things. fascinating, in a tragic way. so yeah the conductor comes, the guy has no money, but tries to pay with his phone. i still dont know what he was hoping to accomplish with that, but like i said, hes out of his mind. anyway, my friend goes to the bathroom, then the guy goes back there with him. and PUTS A BAG OF COCAINE IN HIS HAND and tries to sell it to him. so yeah. mr harmless junky takes a step too far. so he calls the cops and the junky is sitting next to him at this point, staring at him! so on the phone hes all cryptic and shit but he lets in key details of like, this guy is not right, etc etc. and the junky never catches on. so pretty soon we pull into aberdeen. and we see like 6 cops and 2 attack dogs waiting for us to pull in. of course the junky doesnt though. so he gets off, then tries to make a run for it when he wises up. but he can only run like 1mph and my friend clotheslines him and he falls over and is knocked out. then cops drag him off. wild! so then we go to moorings, and buy lots of drinks for the guy who called the cops and clotheslined the guy. its all rubbish though because this guy probably never got help. drugs are no good.
those are i think most of the clubs, all the ones with histories anyway. wow this a lot of words. all because of la roux. well. should we go full circle?