last week was one of those weeks, when faced with the ability to do, i did not. those are the worst. at least we as sentient, functional human beings are blessed with hindsight though, because without it, itd be hard to fathom the possibility of digging out of those times before some form of intervention, divine or common.
im not sure how much of that is some sort of redressing of history though, brought on by a night of heavy drinking, as the 4th certainly was. maybe its during the recovery from that that brings on a certain lucidity, maybe its as if my mind is unable to say, through the way its wired, 'dont do what you did in the last 24 hours.' rather the only thing it is programmed to say for these sort of damage-control instances is 'dont do what you did over the last 7 days.'
its amazing that given the human experience, the however-long-it-lasts journey of self-doubt, self-discovery, self-reliance, otherness, and whatever else goes into that curiously endless, limitless but yet indisputably finite list, that we are never going to answer these questions. sure during my postmarxist, psychoanalytic days i learned a lot about the tools, and the processeses, but more than anything that taught me that for everyone who argues for a 'third way', theres probably more who are 'no way'. but then when you think about that more, the 'no way' isnt really that. that yes, there isnt really a consensus, but there are communities that very much do achieve consensus. millions of them. but i digress. the operative point here is what zizek calls the vanishing mediator, i think. its good to be a human.
but who knows. too much beer, too many fireworks.
right now im watching one of the pbs frontline docs, this one on regional airlines and the truth behind them. pbs is great. what ive started doing is alternating nights between frontline and american experience. its beneficial.
seems like ive got squirrels in my attic here. my literal attic. the attic of my apartment. that one. more on that as it develops.